When I left off last time, I was in a pit of pain and sorrow. I won't go into details, because those really aren't important. What's important is what has happened since. I know it's been a while since I posted last, but it's been an interesting journey. I have wanted to tell you all where I am, but I just never quite found the words. I pray that what I have to say now will make a difference in someone's attitude, but if it doesn't, that's okay. Because I've seen where I was and I know where I am now, and I know that God is proud of me. Heartbreak is devastating, no matter the circumstances. It can stop you cold in your tracks or it can give you the energy needed to make changes. Heartbreak can end your life as you knew it. That's what happened to me. Going merrily along only to get stuck in a pothole. No fun.
God, in His infinite wisdom, opened my eyes to what He wanted from me. He wanted me to demonstrate His love, His forgiveness and His mercy. In doing that, I turned someone who thought themselves unworthy back to Christ. Back into the loving arms of the Heavenly Father who has held me up and poured His strength through me so I could be strong when it was needed. God also poured out His mercy and love, again, flowing through me to show that He was always waiting for this person. He showed me forgiveness and the gift it was to someone who thought they were unforgiveable. He also showed me, in ways that only I understand, that my faith was not misplaced.
God calls us, in all our relationships, to show Christlike behavior. What does that look like to me? Well, I am reminded that when Jesus was in the Garden praying that if possible, would the Father please not make him follow through; but in the end, Jesus said, "Your will, not mine." I am pretty sure that if Jesus didn't have his Heavenly Father, he probably would have run straight from that Garden as fast as his sandals would carry him. I know I would have. I mean, in my own Garden, I wanted out . . . NOW! But God held me tight, shaking and crying with me, He held me firm to what He knew needed to be done. He encouraged me and gave me the power to follow through with His will, not mine. In the end, my reward thus far has been beyond my wildest dreams.
I have a long road ahead of me. I'm not there yet. And I hope to keep working hard and honoring God. I can't believe what He has done for me because I have been obedient and honorable. I am so thankful that I don't have to do this trek alone. I am thankful that He puts things in my path to show me what to do, things to read to improve my soul and my heart, people to give me encouragement and support when they don't even know they are doing that. I have a loving and faithful God. I am blessed beyond measure at the gifts He bestows on me, a sinful person certainly not deserving of any of them.
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