I have three kids and a daughter-in-law. Each one is so different from the other.
My oldest, he's pretty awesome. I look at him, sometimes, and I think, "In spite of me, in spite of the mistakes I made parenting you, you are a pretty awesome guy." I believe love conquers a lot, maybe not everything, but a lot. He's smart, money savvy, a good husband, and a great contributor to society. Who knew?? He has lots of new adventures to look forward to: they now have a puppy. If the puppy survives to adulthood, they can move on to children. They plan lots of vacations and things they want to do, see and buy. And they'll do it. I have no doubt about it. His wife, she's pretty special too. Fits him to a "T", that's for sure. She'll definitely give him a run for his money. And she's cute as a button. She likes tattoos, purple hair and pretty much is as geeky as he is. I like her . . . a lot. I can't wait to hear of their adventures.
My middle son, he's amazing. He has conquered a lot in his young life. He is in the Army, and doing very well at it. He's finishing up his schooling -- learning to disarm bombs -- and his new adventures are going to start in New Mexico. He's very strong, both physically and mentally. He's always been such a black and white kid. I thought he'd make an excellent lawyer. He could convince you that the sky really isn't blue, but a lovely shade a green. And when you were finished with that conversation, you'd believe him. He has a new girlfriend -- hooray. She sent me a message one day thanking me for raising such a fine young man. (I really have to give credit to his dad for that one as he sets a fine and high example for his sons to follow.) I am happy he has a girlfriend. It's been a long time coming for him. I am happy that she is poised enough to send me that message. She's in the Navy -- we'll see who crosses over to which branch, if they are meant to be together.
My youngest, he's finishing up the first year of his new adventure and will continue on the same path for a few more years yet. He's a freshman in college and working towards becoming a teacher. He comes home on some weekends. He hangs out with us in the hot tub for hours. He watches tv with us. And he works with his dad. He is a thoughtful, caring, loving son. He also has a big heart. I am so thankful that he is around for a few more years yet to help his dad on the farm. But I am also anxious for him to finish up his schooling and get started on his great adventure of life.
My husband and I are also enjoying our first year of a new adventure -- empty nesting. I think we like it. We anticipated this for a long time. I love my husband. I even like him. We do a lot of stuff together. We get along great. He is my best friend. Some of the new adventures we are working on: eating more healthy. Trying to exercise together. Reading (or, in his case, listening to) the same books and talking about them. Planning vacations -- this is so fun!! Although, I do feel a little guilty about not taking the youngest with us some . . . but only a little.
How fun it is to look forward to new adventures. The anticipation, the eagerness and sometimes the anxiety. I think I want to try and look at some of the old adventures with that same anticipation and eagerness. Maybe it will breathe new life into the mundane . . . who knows?? I'll keep you posted!!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The Black Sheep
Today I am feeling the pain of being the black sheep of the family. I think we've all taken our turn at that, right? Sometimes deservedly, sometimes . . . not. This would be one of those times that I don't feel as I've deserved this spot. So what makes me feel this way, then? I guess you'd need some history of our family on that one . . .
I am the youngest by 7 and 8 years. I learned a lot from my older brother and sister about what NOT to do. Then, they were out of the house and it was just me. I became a peace maker, I think. I tried to do what was right. I brought home (finally) a nice boy I met at church. I got married. Had three kids and lived on a farm. My siblings didn't have it quite that easy, I don't think. They kind of stumbled through life until very recently. My brother married my best friend. My sister passed away last October after battling lung cancer. I've never really been close to either of my siblings. But I've always been close to my parents.
This last year has brought several changes to my life. My youngest graduated high school and started college. My middle son went into the Army. And my oldest son got married. Big changes, huh? In the middle of all of that, our church went through some very difficult times, which has trickled down into affecting my family. We all used to go to church together. My parents, my brother and sister in law and us. When this difficult time with our church started, it ripped right down the middle of my family. My brother and sister in law were on one side with my dad, my husband and I were on the other side with our church. My mom has stayed in the middle, as she says. We don't attend church together any more. We don't even talk about church. And I've even been referred to as a traitor because I side with my church, which has hurt me very deeply.
I feel that because I have taken a stand, I am on the outside of my family looking in. I've never been here before. And it's really not a fun place to be, honestly. My mom was so worried about my sister's death tearing apart our family. I think she's worried about the wrong thing. She says she won't let it happen, but it has. I don't think my dad even wants to talk to me. I am pretty sure that my brother thinks I'm nothing but a 12 year old who doesn't know what's going on. And I don't believe that I have the respect of either of them.
It would be so easy for me to cave in. But I've always said that I'm the non-conformist of the group, so I won't. I believe that I am where God wants me to be. No matter how hard it is, no matter how much it hurts, I believe that God wants me right where I am. Thankfully, He has given me some wonderful boys as sons who support me. He has given me the world's best husband who holds me up and keeps me grounded and is willing to go to any length to protect me. And He has given me some pretty amazing friends who have also stepped up to support me. I know I am not the black sheep in God's family. And thank God for that!
I am the youngest by 7 and 8 years. I learned a lot from my older brother and sister about what NOT to do. Then, they were out of the house and it was just me. I became a peace maker, I think. I tried to do what was right. I brought home (finally) a nice boy I met at church. I got married. Had three kids and lived on a farm. My siblings didn't have it quite that easy, I don't think. They kind of stumbled through life until very recently. My brother married my best friend. My sister passed away last October after battling lung cancer. I've never really been close to either of my siblings. But I've always been close to my parents.
This last year has brought several changes to my life. My youngest graduated high school and started college. My middle son went into the Army. And my oldest son got married. Big changes, huh? In the middle of all of that, our church went through some very difficult times, which has trickled down into affecting my family. We all used to go to church together. My parents, my brother and sister in law and us. When this difficult time with our church started, it ripped right down the middle of my family. My brother and sister in law were on one side with my dad, my husband and I were on the other side with our church. My mom has stayed in the middle, as she says. We don't attend church together any more. We don't even talk about church. And I've even been referred to as a traitor because I side with my church, which has hurt me very deeply.
I feel that because I have taken a stand, I am on the outside of my family looking in. I've never been here before. And it's really not a fun place to be, honestly. My mom was so worried about my sister's death tearing apart our family. I think she's worried about the wrong thing. She says she won't let it happen, but it has. I don't think my dad even wants to talk to me. I am pretty sure that my brother thinks I'm nothing but a 12 year old who doesn't know what's going on. And I don't believe that I have the respect of either of them.
It would be so easy for me to cave in. But I've always said that I'm the non-conformist of the group, so I won't. I believe that I am where God wants me to be. No matter how hard it is, no matter how much it hurts, I believe that God wants me right where I am. Thankfully, He has given me some wonderful boys as sons who support me. He has given me the world's best husband who holds me up and keeps me grounded and is willing to go to any length to protect me. And He has given me some pretty amazing friends who have also stepped up to support me. I know I am not the black sheep in God's family. And thank God for that!
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